Words, words, words.
Zoning, master plans, traffic counts.

These terms can be confusing to any citizen who gets involved with development projects. What do these words mean?

Here, for the first time, is NeighborhoodNet's attempt to cut through the murk and create a clear definition of each term.

Feel free to email in your own favorite term or expand on a definition: Your name can be removed. Send to: phillips@kcnet.com

So folks, it's about time. Here is: A Citizens' Dictionary of Overland Park Development.

This would be considered humor if it weren't so true.

Sincerely--Bob Phillips

List of Terms:

Annexation: The process of converting fields and streams into "big-box" stores.

Berm: A small mound of dirt used to disguise big-box stores. See "bush."

Berms and Bushes: 1. A developer's solution to any problem. 2. Overland Park zoning ordinances.

Big-Box Store: One enormous store like Target or Wal-Mart placed every half mile.

Bush: A small plant used to disguise a big-box store. See "berm."

Campaign Contributions: The first step in the zoning process.

Citizen Groups: Rabble.

Citizen Group Leaders: Rabblerousers.

City Council: A governing body representing developers.

Detention Pond: An ecological niche for the West Nile Virus mosquito.

Developer: 1. A person/persons who will maximize financial gains, regardless of the rules. 2. A city council member with a job.

Developer's Attorney: 1. A golfing buddy of city council members. 2. A campaign manager for city council members.

Eminent Domain: A developer's philosophy: "What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine."

Flood Plain: An enticing area for residential development with fishing opportunities in every back yard and a private pool in every basement. See detention ponds.

Future Development Plan: A map of future compatible land uses--for Planet Zarcon.

Green space: A small moldy piece of cheese in the back of your refrigerator.

Homeowner's Rights: See "endangered species."

Land Use: Whatever.

Landscaping: The installation of trees, shrubs, and other plant materials in lieu of enforcing the proper zoning.

Master Plan: A fairy tale, updated yearly, which doesn't begin with "Once upon a time" and never has a happy ending.

Pedestrian: See "endangered species."

Planning Commission: A rubber stamp for developers.

Political Sign: 1. Any campaign sign, 2 inches x 3 inches, posted in a citizen's front yard, away from traffic. 2. Any campaign sign, 10 feet x 20 feet or more, posted by developers on major roadways with heavy traffic.

Protest Petition: 1. A brief legal euphoria for citizens in which they march one step forward, two steps back. 2. A business expense for developers as they "buy off" any opposition.

Public Hearing: Private meetings between the governing body and developers--sometimes interrupted by uninvited citizens.

Public Transportation: Say what?

Quality of Life: The brief interlude between a homeowner's purchase and a big-box store moving in next door.

Residential: A group of homes used to attract developers.

Rezoning: A developer's use of the land after neighbors have moved in next door. See "get-rich-quick schemes."

Shrub: A plant, slightly larger than a bush, used to screen skyscrapers.

Special Use Permit: A use of the land, neither special nor useful.

Steck Plantation: A vibrant group of 13 homes on the southeast corner of 159th Street and Metcalf prior to being replaced by commercial.

Subdivision: A temporary group of vibrant, viable residential homes before being zoned commercial. See "Steck Plantation."

Traffic Count: The count of cars at 3 a.m. on February 29.

Traffic Study: The process of adding 8,000 cars to 2,000 cars and coming up with 400.

Transition: The protection of residential properties by placing a big-box store between them.

Ward: 1. A place to hold psychiatric patients. 2. A place to elect city council members.

Zoning: The intended use of a land before a developer says otherwise.

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